took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My balls are so social today.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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