I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
How does one acquire holy water?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
