I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
