You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
smell my finger.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
