Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i think i have two assholes
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The Olympian is in my bed
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
