So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
