On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
