I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
