so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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