so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
