Ambien. No doubt about it.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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