wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
