Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
is wine microwaveable?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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