did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
