I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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