just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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