Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
