Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
