I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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