I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My ass is underappreciated
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
