you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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