my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
