I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it glows. i had to have it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
