You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just found puke in my bra..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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