I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
