Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
