I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
