i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
