She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There's always time for handjobs
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
