this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
