I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
