Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I need moral support for this bender
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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