In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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