He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
