I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think I just sharted jello shots
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
