Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
