So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
