hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What a fucking waste of an outfit
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize