I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
