Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
