We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
