So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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