OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
