The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
