Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
