Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
