Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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