You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
