i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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