My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
