i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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