very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
