I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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