the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
