I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
